Friday, March 16, 2012

Day 16th - Follow up

I have been trying to write here each day during this week, but something always come up. I am really thinking about getting a tablet so I can be more frequent here…


So, I have few things to share.

First, I started doing wheat free and gluten free diet. It’s been awful because I love bread and beer so much! But I decided to give it a try. I will try it for the next two cycles to see if I feel any difference. From what I have been reading online, many people benefit from this kind of diet in infertility matters. Also, I read somewhere that (although it hasn’t been proved) gluten might affect levels of estrogen and consequently worsen endometriosis symptoms. I will do a more detailed research and post it here with my own personal experience.


In one of my last posts I talked about Castor Oil and I have to say that I LOVE it. I don’t know if it is only because of the Castor oil or other life style differences, but since I started using it I feel I have way more discharge than before. I love it, because it makes baby dancing more pleasant for both me and hubby. I am anxious to see the effect during my period.


Third I have been really active on the exercise. I am working less days during the week in the office now so I have more time available. Also I got a work out buddy. She is in perfect shape, which inspires me to follow her every other day to the gym.


My husband is still a little weird about the whole IVF situation. I try not to bring it up or change the subject if we get there, but every chance he gets he express his desire to try IVF. Am I being awful for not wanting it? I don’t know, I already feel so guilty as it is. I am taking one day after another in this matter.


I am right in the middle of my cycle. Today is day 16th.


Preparing to get crazy and anxious for the next 2 weeks.
:*

Friday, March 9, 2012

Little support from my husband or is it just me?

I am NOT ready to go through IVF. I try to let my husband convince me, but I know deep down I don't want to do it. I am not ready yet.
I still have hope in my body, I still think it will happen someday.
So, when my husband starts pushing me to visit the doctor so we can discuss IVF, I just can't! I keep postponing!
Why can't he leave me alone with this for a while?? I am not done trying every damn thing I can. Why can't he freaking understand me?

Or is it me who is being selfish?

He will turn 40 soon and he can't wait to have a child. He feels he is already old. BUT THAT'S NOT MY FAULT! Even my infertility is not my fault!

Sometimes I just wish he would find someone else...