Confusing news and results

I have been waiting anxiously to write a post here. The second week wait wasn't pleasant but not as awful as I thought it would be. I got really anxious two days before my first beta that was schedule for yesterday, and to make things easier on my nerves they made me wait for the quantitative results until this morning.

So I have some confusing news to share. My IVF doctor had asked for a pregnancy test on day 13 after the transfer (13dp2dt) and since I am back to the States I went to my clinic and ask for the test. The nurse didn't really wanted to give me a blood test, she first offered a urine test and after I decline she sent me directly to the laboratory although this is obviously not the standard procedure. She was not an american, otherwise I don't think I would have gotten my beta right now. I don't want to generalize but a regular American (maybe the ones with a lower education level) can not really think outside of the box. Once, at the hospital the receptionist asked me to read my social number because she got confused with the way I wrote the numbers!!! What?! "My no. one is not a single straight vertical dash", she said, but it is exactly like this "1", a little pointy at the top. I am tolerant with cultural differences not with old good fashion stupidity.

Here is where it gets really confusing and frustrating and my tears are covering my face as write this. The test was positive with beta of 28. If it was a natural cycle I would be more than happy by now but 5 days ago I had a HCG booster shot (pregnyl) of 5000 iu. I really don't understand why my doctor would ask a pregnancy test after such a short time of a HCG shot. I seriously suspect that he is trying to deceive us at having one positive pregnancy test. It could also be my nervous and stressed mind thinking the worse of people.

Now, I would like to have a second and maybe a third test like any other person that goes through IVF, but my clinic now has to follow procedure and that said I need to make an OB appointment. I just tried to do schedule it, but as soon as I said the I had an IVF done all the doors shut down on my face and they suggest I go back to my IVF clinic and come back when I know for sure I am pregnant.

I understand I am a particular case, that not a lot of women have IVF in one country and then have to live in another for work reasons. Also, I can see that having a military health insurance (Tricare) makes it even more difficult for them to adapt to a diferent situation, everything has to follow protocol. So what do I do no??

I might have to look for a private clinic to keep going with my treatment. This is ridiculous. My husband came back from work and he saw I was upset on the phone but it didn't really help. Every time I look at him I feel even more like a failure. We shouldn't have done IVF this way, I knew from the beginning but every time I would say no he would get really mad thinking I wasn't doing my part, that I was just giving up. Even the doctor suggested that we should wait a little more and pursuit IVF a little later but when DH sets something on his mind it is as good as done. He actually thanked me every time he would give me a shot for doing this for the family. Sometime I whished he was a more relaxed person but he is as anxious as I am. Also I believe technology has spoiled us. We are used to have whatever we want, whenever we want, wherever we are.

Nobody is to blame here, not us or the doctors not even the f@%&-?#% Tricare. The fact is that we need to learn to be more patient and understand that sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways.