The Retrieval

On Monday we went early in the morning to the clinic. I was with an empty stomach, I haven’t had anything to eat for the last 15 hours. I think if I had anything on my stomach I would have thrown up anyway. I was making a real effort not to cry. I don’t think DH noticed. I am ashamed to say but deep down I was wishing that I had prematurely ovulated as the Doctor was expecting, just so i wouldn’t risk knowing that IVF failed later. I am a coward, I know. 

Against all the bids my 4 little follicles were there, patiently waiting in my ovaries.

So they start to get me ready for the retrieval. All the nurses were very sweet, except one that is always little bossy and rude but that day she was treating me fairly well. The anesthesiologist was awful; I get goose bumps just remembering. I mean he was nice and talked me through everything but it was far the worse needle experience I had in the last few months. I imagine that because I was nervous he couldn’t hit a vein. I was passing out even before he had injected the anesthesia. I just remember looking from the ultrasound monitor to the ceiling and thinking, “here we go”...

It’s the second time I remember waking up from anesthesia and feeling really alone, an awful emotional sensation, I started crying. My husband came running to tell me everything was fine and they got 4 nice looking eggs. I was happy but still I kept feeling a little panic sensation. Can’t explain why, I think it’s because of the anesthesia; it affects me in a weird way.

The doctor prescribed me an antibiotic and progesterone. I had a little abdomen pain after the procedure that faded away at night.

My husband after producing his part of the deal (I envy being a man so much), he took me home and went directly to the airport. He has too much going on and he had to be back to the States for several reasons. I am not really happy to stay here alone but we don’t have many choices. Today we talked and he called the clinic to check on the progress of our "Embibabies". One of them didn’t make, it was too old. Another has already showed signs of life and the other two they fear that they weren’t mature enough. Although we were expecting more, the truth is that I only need one to be strong and make it.

The transfer will be tomorrow at 2pm. I don’t even want to fantasize much about it. My plan is to go a little earlier have a healthy and light lunch somewhere around the clinic and come back with a taxi and lay back for the rest of the day. Maybe I will watch a funny movie... someone told me to laugh after the transfer might help the process.