News on my IVF cycle

I finally met my doctor personally after months of Skype consults and emails translated by my husband. Well, I had a good feeling about him. He made the effort to speak in English, and his English was surprisingly good, there were a few American and German diplomas and certificates hanging in his office. I can feel he wants to help me and not only take our money away. 

In the ultrasound he found the “endometrioma” in like 3 seconds. I still wonder why no doctor ever mentioned it to me during my yearly examination, or that my American RE needed a laparoscopy to know if I in fact had endometriosis. In his opinion most probably my endometriosis wasn’t the problem since 1 in every 2 women he screens has it. 

He is a little disappointed that I only produced 4 eggs during the stimulation which made he think that during the 4 insemination-cycles I was either producing empty follicles or the quality of the eggs were not good (endometriosis plus high levels of prolactin are factors in egg quality).  He said that Clomid can be deceiving and that he does not use it with his patients. 

I am not really happy with the news but I am learning not to be devastated with infertility matters. I still have faith I will have children, if not now, at some point in my life. We decided that we will go on with the procedure. The doctor adjusted my injections doses and now I will be having 2 injections per day instead of one. Yay! It is basically the same dose but spread during the day, so we can imitate the body’s natural release of hormones. 

My very skilful hubby is giving me all the injections and doing a great job. It barely hurts, I feel a little light headed because of my fear of needles, but nothing major. First injection the poor guy was all sweat but now he is a true professional. 

Monday we will be doing the retrieval. We have to be there punctually at 8.30 am and I will be sleeping during the whole thing (thanks God). Cross your fingers for me please! :)

"Vacations" in Europe

Vacations are definitely not a time to rest. We have been from one place to another, visiting places, meeting friends and family members. I miss my routine already. Although, I do think I kind of disconnected a little from all my infertility issues. 

 

Last week we bought all the injections I will be starting tomorrow for the IVF procedure. I am so scared already. My husband will be the one administrating it. 

I am still using the spray Synarela. My only concern with this medicine is that I haven’t been taking it the same time every day. I don’t have a routine anymore and sometimes I forget to bring it with me. I didn’t feel much difference during my period while taking this medicine. I do feel like a burning sensation in my lower back. I have no idea what it is really doing but from what I read it is used to help endometriosis and before you start ovary stimulation. I thought I would miss my period, it was one of the symptoms Synarela may cause, but Aunt Flo came very inconveniently when we were visiting Barcelona.

Yesterday we had a little fight. We have a girl name that we like and sometimes we use it when toying with the idea of having a child. Between beers my hubby blabbered it out with his friends and I reprimanded him. He took it seriously and got really mad at me, saying I can’t make him hide things. I don’t think this is the kind of information you spread before even getting pregnant. Anyway, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.

I am crossing my fingers and praying to God for this month.

No pain, only excitment

The weird pain is gone. I was telling a Greek friend about it and she said it sounded like a kidney thing because of the position and type of pain, and actually doctor Google said the same. She told me that it could be “Cold Kidney”; she mentioned that the kidney is very sensitive to changes of temperature. The truth is that I am complaining every day that my husband cranks up the air conditioning and I am always cold. Yesterday I decided to put on some more clothes and sleep with a thicker blanket, surprise, surprise, no pain this morning and during the whole day.

Today I got the confirmation that one of the medicines I have to start taking on day 20 of my cycle has arrived. The medicine is called Synarela (Nafarelin Acetate) and it is a spray that I will have to use for 2 weeks before I start the induction. I am getting excited about the IVF and trying to work on a positive thinking. I want to believe that a positive attitude is going to help me to get my BFP. 

The total of the medicines (Synarela+Merional) added up to a little under $ 1.000 (us dollars). I am not sure how much will be the total cost in the clinic but it shouldn’t be more than $2.000. Compared to the price in U.S. clinics it is a very good price (if it works, obviously). I am trying to think that even if it doesn’t work we will have more information on about what to do next. 

The dificult part will be to remain calm and try not to get anxious. I wish I could go to sleep now and only wake up when I have a positive stick in my hand (lol)!

Mysterious Pain in lower back

Today was one of those days that I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed. For the last 10 days I have been feeling a dull but persistent pain in the lower back. I can’t feel the spot where It hurts, it feels like somewhere inside between my back and abdomen in my left side. Since the pain started before and stay during my whole period I guess I felt it was probably the endometriosis making its job and torturing me. 

My period finished on Sunday, but I can still feel it. It is not an awful pain but it is very uncomfortable. Last night I couldn’t find a good position to sleep in and it took me quite a while to fall asleep. This morning I went to my primary care doctor. They attended me very quickly; I wasn’t even expecting to see a doctor. Turned out that in my file it said that I was an officer, instead of a family dependent. Once I told them that my husband is the officer and not me, and then things went back to the normal speed.  

The doctor examined me and said everything seemed normal. I told him about me using clomid a while ago and that it could be a cyst in my ovary, but he didn’t seem to be concerned. He actually just said, go home and take an aspirin and wait a week to see if you still have pain. 

I am so nervous; I hope it is nothing important because I really don’t know what else to do since the RE back in Europe won’t be seeing me 5 after I start the induction.

IVF in August

Finaly we reached a consensus! We are going ahead with IVF. The doctor we contacted back in Europe has given us all the direction and all we have to do to go ahead with IVF in August. Up to now, I wasn’t really nervous, but yesterday when we were looking for the medicines to buy online and the tickets I got into panic mode.  I started fighting with my husband because of nothing really important. Poor guy! He’s been so stressed this time around, since he has to do pretty much all the work translating between me and the doctor. When we had the IUIs, the only thing he knew was the day to show up and produce the sperm. Now, he is thinking about medicines, dates, shots, I can see he is really anxious and nervous. He keeps asking me to not get depressed if IVF doesn’t work and to not make him feel guilty.

I feel so sorry for him, but can I really promise him I will be fine if IVF doesn’t work? Of course not!  I will be destroyed. So there is no other option but a positive result. I can’t really imagine going through all of this more than once. 

 

I am leaving to Europe in 10 days. I will start with a GnRH agonist (Nafarelin) on day 20 of this cycle that just started, around August 8^th, and then induction will start on the 21^st. I have been reading about Nafarelin/ Synarel, couldn’t find much though. It seems that they only use this in a few countries in Europe. It is not only used to control ovarian stimulation but it also used to treat conditions such as endometriosis or uterine fibroids. 

Our major concern right now is the distance. I am sending all the test he asked from the U.S. but it is not the same as if it was from his laboratory of preference. Also, he will be on vacation right when I start the induction and he won't be able to see me every other day as it is usually done. But we won't have other chance to go with our schedules, so it is now or never. The doctor is still confident we can make it work. As if all of this wasn't enough, I will be at my mother's house and I don't want to tell her what is going on. I don't need the extra pressure... uff... it will be a crazy month, that is for sure!

Thanks to my endometriosis I had the worst period of the year during the whole weekend. Nothing helped, I was really bloated, awful cramps and very high flow.  The flow was very dark and the clots were bigger than ever. I wonder if the baby aspirin is helping at all. Today is day 5 of my cycle and I am spotting and I still feel a burning sensation in my left side. I can't wait to go right back to birth control pills so I can keep my endo under control.

Fertility Massage

I found this video very self explanatory about Femoral Reproductive Massage. I had heard about it before and decided to give it a try this month. We started doing it yesterday. I can really feel that the blood flow kind of gets interrupted and then released.

If this doesn't work at least it is a way to have your partner be part of the process and kind of feel useful. Infertility is hard on them too, they might not show like we do or it might not be as upsetting as it is for us, but they all feel the frustration and pain of infertility.

DAY 01

Like a little clock my period came today. Perfect 28 days cycles or another failed cycle, it only depends how you look at it. I did not have any pain during this cycle, not even around ovulation. No mid cycle spotting and as for now mild cramps. However, no BFP either!! I can't wait for the day I will see something different in that dreadful stick.

As usual, I woke up this morning with the awful feeling of knowing aunt Flo has arrived we all know about.
 

I will spend my next TREE DAYS trying to control pain with all my little holistic tricks...
Ginger Root Infusion: relax muscles
Red Raspberry Leaf capsules: antispasmodic
Evening Primrose Oil: reduces inflammation
Fish Oil: reduces inflammation